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Natural looking breasts

We've used the best foam rubber available to create these realistic- looking breasts.

Once fixed to the chest, no-one will know that they are not real!

$199 per pair


Pert Breast Kit

Believe it or not, these are false breasts. The foam rubber has been treated with a special papier mache coating to make them look as realistic as possible. You won't be able to see the join! In conjunction with our Titt Stick (TM) fixing kit you could even go braless!

$250 per pair

Look at those puppies

Silicone Breasts

Our specially formulated breasts are made with top quality papier mache topped with silicone sealant to make them water resistant for up to 20 minutes!

$400 per pair


Breast Implants (New June 2004)

For that totally femme look, our sister clinic can surgically implant hi-grade papier mache sub-dermally to create breasts that noone will know are not real.

$email us for a quote....



Please note - Actual products not shown. The pictures are to illustrate what female breasts look like. Any similarity between our false breasts and real breasts is purely accidental.



Breast-fixing kit

Specially designed to hold your breasts in place. You can go braless!

$20 a roll


Advanced Breast-fixing kit

The Colonels secret blend of herbs and spices.... sorry, that's something else.

This special formula will hold your breasts in place for days. Breasts can be easily removed by your local Accident and Emergency department.

$50 per tube


Titt-Stick (TM)

Our crack medical researches have found the perfect formula to keep your breasts firmly in place with this amazing Titt Stick (TM).

$40 a stick.

titt stick


Please note - this is a spoof website. None of the products on this site are actually up for sale. Any similarity to any real businesses is purely coincidental.